Handstands are a regular feature in many yoga classes, and a good (experienced, compassionate) teacher can get most students to fly into the pose for at least a second or two by offering something we all want: control.
After the preliminaries, when a student is ready for the main event, the teacher stands against the wall to brace herself. As the student mindfully flings her legs into the air, the one thing the teacher does not do is grab those flying legs. As the student's torso moves toward the wall, the teacher will take hold of the hips and guide the student into an upright upside down pose. Yay! Being supported by the hips gives the hand-stander a feeling of security in two ways: Being held, guided and supported; and having legs free to come back to earth at any time without restraint.
And therein lies the secret: Having the freedom to fly up when you are ready, and the freedom to return to earth in your own time. Imagine being in a handstand with someone holding your legs while your arms feel about to give way. That would be a panicky moment fueled by a lack of control.
So next time you are ready to try something a little scary, ask for a little assist. Find someone you know won't try to control your efforts by grabbing your metaphorical legs, but who will guide you toward where you want to go when you are ready, and allow you to decide how far, how long, and when to step back. The choice is not whether to go it alone or to ask for help; the choice is in asking for the appropriate kind of help. An assist, a leg up, a helping hand.
And it's okay if you don't always get all the way up, it's still fun to try!
