Silly Ol' Bear

When carrying a jar of honey to give to a friend for his birthday, don’t stop and eat it along the way. 

   --Wisdom from Pooh Bear

There is an understanding of the Universe that everything we need is available to us, and that there is enough for everyone. Still, we sometimes find ourselves being a little stingy, making sure we have what we need for ourselves and our little nuclear family, and rationalizing that others can get what they need their own darn selves!  Yes, ideally everyone would be open to what is “out there” and this would be a perfect world; realistically not everyone is ready to accept that there is no need to scramble over others to get what is needed, and that by helping others we help ourselves.  Someone needs to be the good example!

There are many facets to this issue:  You need to keep your Self in good working order to be able to help others -- when the oxygen masks drop, put yours on first or you won’t be able to assist anyone else!  Some people don’t have it in them to take care of themselves, and we need to see this as an opportunity, not a drag.  Every person, whether CEO or Somalian refugee, has the same worth.

But remember that there is Enough!  Take what you need and no more, and then help others to take what they need for themselves. 

Oh, and by the way, there is a reward for this kind of giving life.  And it’s worth the trouble.

Yes, I Can! And so can you.

I recently returned from western New York after completing a week of service, building a deck and ramp for a man and his young son so that their cousin, wheelchair-bound, would be able to visit.  What made this week so special was the all-female work team we had this year.  The girls had participated in service projects in the past, but always with boys on their team -- teenaged boys with no more building experience than the girls had, but with a lot more confidence and a feeling that they were doing “man’s work” and as men, were magically adept at it.  During our last night wrap-up, I heard these comments from our young ladies: 

Other years, we always did what the boys told us; mostly the stuff they didn’t want to do.  This year, we asked what was the next step, and our leader handed us the plan and told us to go to it.  And we did!

The girls returned home glowing with empowerment, basking in the knowledge that they could, indeed, do man’s work without actually being men.  Maybe this experience will plant the seed that there does not need to be a dividing line between men and women; that although it takes four girls to hoist a heavy deck platform which three boys could have hefted with ease, still, the girls could do it; that there is no need to settle for leftovers.  Most of the girls will age out of the program after this, but next time they work side by side with men I hope they will remember this week, and take up that chop saw (or spatula, or pen, or steering wheel) with confidence and the knowledge that they can.  And that what they do with skill does not detract from what anyone else does. And that the masculine/feminine yin and yang swirl together so beautifully to make a circle, the yin curling around the yang and the yang filling the spaces in perfect balance, just as men and women working together fit perfectly.  And if we each allow the other to shine, the scales will be even and the world will spin ever more smoothly.

Brain Melt

Think back a few months.  Remember March?  What were you wearing?  Long pants, thick socks, a sweater and a scarf, I bet.  And that was while folding laundry. The weather has done a flip, and now we are baring skin and seeking air-conditioned spaces, and hopefully drinking lots of pure water.

The weather can be an obstacle for us, as we struggle to adjust to temperature extremes.  Everyone knows about hydration and sun protection, about taking it slow during the dog days and keeping the blood flowing when there's a chill.  These challenges to our physical bodies can also affect our mental/emotional bodies.  In the heat we may find our minds becoming sluggish and lethargic.  The warmth seeps into our skulls and melts our brains.  Make this an opportunity to soften your mind and slow your thinking.  Be aware of the ways the heat relaxes you and allow yourself to let go of the chitchat that usually clamors in your head. Find some shade and close your eyes and slip into meditation (without falling asleep).  As you bring yourself back to your surroundings, try to absorb the feelings of peace so you can come back to that state again in different circumstances.  Even a minute of inner silence can create a calmer, more peaceful you.  Then glug some water and get back to work!

Laundry List

It's 9:45PM and I'm folding laundry, trying not to grit my teeth against the job.  A few more mindless tasks are waiting to be done before I can tuck myself in for the night:  The dog needs to go out, my teeth need brushing, and a few bills need to be paid. So I sort the mail, let the dog back in, and stand in front of the sink wondering if I can risk skipping the floss tonight. 

Mundane tasks and everyday chores stand in our way every day.  Every hour, even.  And we can't skip flossing every night! So how to get over that feeling of excruciating boredom when faced with a mountain of socks to match?  What can we do to feel, not joy, but at least acceptance, when we pull out the skillet to make dinner AGAIN?

Wish I had an answer for you, but I don't.  I have an idea to try out, though:  All day tomorrow, I will use those moments of dullness to meditate.  I won't sit cross-legged with my thumb and index finger forming a circle, and I won't even close my eyes.  I will breathe deeply and allow my mind to be quiet for those few minutes.  I will pay attention to the smell of the parsley I chop, and the sound of the onions falling in to the hot oil.  I will look closely at the beautiful tree in my backyard as I wait for the dog to finish up, and I will marvel at its magnificence (too much? Okay, maybe I'll lean against its majestic trunk.  It's a really nice tree!) The point being that if I need to concentrate on a task, I will do so mindfully; if the job is mindless, I will give my mind a real break, and not waste the time with my inner complaints.  I'll let you know how it works out.

Citified Yoga

Solstice in Times Square is a yoga celebration of the longest day of the year.  Thousands gathered throughout the day to practice together in the heart of Manhattan, to share their energies and heart-light and, for some, to show off their perfect yoga poses.  I couldn’t help but notice a few things, and gather some lessons in the process.  For those of you who won’t start a yoga practice because you are too stiff/chubby/tall/old/weak/whatever, you should attend an event like this, where there are so many different body types that no one can feel like they don’t belong.  Grab a mat and get going.  The other lesson I need to take to heart is this:  Two yoga teachers decided one day to present yoga in Times Square, and that first year, there were only five people attending.  And that included the teachers!  Each year the event grew, and now they sadly turn people away for lack of space!  So – a slow start is still a start!  My last thought was this:  What??!! The days are going to start getting shorter already?!  Heck, school is barely out!

Inhale. Exhale.  Enjoy.

Fifty-Something?

You may know that last summer I turned 50 years old.  I know!  I don't look a day over 49.  I credit all those yoga inversions.  Anyway, I rather enjoyed being 50.  It feels comfortable to say, "oh, I'm 50.  Yes, yes, I know I don't look a day over 49, but it's true. I'm 50."  Fifty seems mature in a wise way, while not yet long in the tooth.  I can still wear skirts above my knee, although just, and heck, if I can do a headstand in the middle of the room at 50 then, dammit, I can wear my hair down past my shoulders (if only it would grow faster). 

And now, as my next birthday creeps up on me, I've made a decision.  I am going to stay 50 for a few more years.  Apologies to my sisters, who will become first my same age, then older than me; but no need for them to worry, because around 53 or 54, I'll pop back to my rightful age.  For now, I claim the right to do some things just for me, and one of them is to remain at this number of years for as long as I want.  So on July 8 of this year, when you say Happy Birthday to me and I just smile serenely in response, you'll know that, while I do celebrate my day of birth, I'm not too concerned about the years.

I'll let you know when this conceit ends!

The Mystery of the Swallowtail

Last time I was here the water was higher; it was early spring, and now it is early summer.  Up along the banks there are leaves and twigs and even rocks to show how high the water got during spring thaw. I am in the Catskills at a creek near my sister's cabin. Across the creek the land is state-owned, so it is rare to come across any other people down here. Carolle tells the story that one day she and her daughter were sitting on a rock in the middle of the creek, reading, at a time the water ran particularly high, and suddenly two kayakers swished past, each pair surprising the other. But today it is peaceful and quiet.  Except when we do some yodeling to make sure the bears know we are here.

I step out of the water to walk along the banks for a bit.  The water is icy cold and my feet need a break.  Turning to look for the others, I see a flock of yellow swallowtail butterflies drifting silently down the path made by the creek.  Truly, maybe fifty or more wafting past in a straggly line.  For the rest of our trek we spy the butterflies, mostly in twos and threes after the largest group went past, flitting by on their journey to somewhere.

There is no internet service up here - no cell phone service either - so I can't look up information on swallowtails.  Maybe I will when I get home; maybe not. Sometimes it's nice to simply enjoy a mystery.