I’m a smiler.  I smile at people I’m happy to see, I smile at people I don’t know; it’s my natural reaction to a face.  In grade school I hated being a smiler.  I was shy and thought I smiled through awkwardness. Maybe that’s true, but whether it became a habit or I grew into my innate smiley-ness, I smile with confidence now.  I still get a little embarrassed when someone greets me back with, “Hi, Smiley!”, but mostly smiling brings me good things, like positive relationships with people -- long-term or seconds-long -- and a little glimmer of cheer for myself.  

Your facial expression contributes to your mood, so smile at yourself when you need a boost.  Paying attention to subtle shifts in your mood is a good practice; when you notice yourself drifting toward the blues, you can catch yourself before you get too deep.  Maybe you need a smile; maybe you need lunch!  

Try smiling at that grumpy cashier or bored mail carrier just to see what happens.  Don’t worry if they don’t return your smile; you can be sure they benefited from your warmth even if they are too tired/sad/distracted to smile back.

By the way, I checked into the adage that it takes a certain number of muscles to smile, and a lot more muscles to frown, so we should smile more because it’s easier.  The first part is not true; apparently we use nearly the same number of muscles for either expression.  The conclusion is correct though, so save yourself some effort and smile!

Love,

Smiley

A Little Help from Your Friends*

The fun part about being a yoga teacher is seeing the joy on someone’s face when they “get” something new.  The moment they realize that relaxing their shoulders brings a whole new ease into Warrior II.   The sigh of release when I gently press their lower back in Child’s Pose.  The sense of satisfaction when they understand that it’s not “cheating” to bend the knees in forward bend in order to reach the floor.   For an hour or so I can offer a sense of ease, of power, and of release. 

Some poses seem out of reach at first, especially to those of us over 30 (well yeah, over 50, but who’s counting)!  The thought of a full backbend or headstand seems ridiculously difficult and scary. Or handstand, yikes!  But to get into handstand is to overcome fear and insecurity, and reconnect with power and stability.  Yep, all in one pose.  And you don’t have to fly up there on your own, either; a little help from a friend can make all the difference.

The first time I get someone up in handstand brings a whoosh of accomplishment and glee to both teacher and student.  It is the culmination of preparation and readiness.  The student has stretched and strengthened the shoulders.  She has practiced kicking up and landing softly.  She has an awareness of core strength. She knows that if she doesn’t try it will never happen.  She has learned that if she tries and gets halfway, she has gone farther than yesterday.  We come together at the wall, student and teacher, and with one last kick and a gentle assist, she is airborne and then upside down, viewing the world from a whole new angle.  The angle of strength, courage, persistence, and joy.  

And you thought yoga was just a good stretch.  

Getting a hand into Wheel.

*Another Beatles title, but not on purpose! Funny, I was never a true Beatles fan, but they keep popping up for me lately.

Ups and Downs

I grew up with active siblings, in a neighborhood with lots of kids our age, at a time when parental supervision consisted of:  Be home for dinner and stay away from that horse farmer with the rifle.  I spent a lot of time on the couch, reading,  lured outside only by the thought I might be missing something fun.  Like being chased by the guy with the rifle.  

In those good ol’ days of children’s play toys built with absolutely no regard for safety, we had a Tower in the yard.  You’d climb up the skinny metal ladder to the wooden platform which had a hole in the center.  A nice big, kid-sized hole with a pole dangling down the middle.  We would grab the pole and slide down, swinging around, knocking into the platform with our knees, then waist, then shoulders, to the ground.  

One day a bunch of us were up in the tower, with no regard to  “maximum capacity”.  The kids were taking turns sitting on the side and jumping down. The playset was several years old by then and the vinyl sides had long since been tattered and removed, leaving nice open sides with a little rail around the platform, waist high.    I sat on the edge, feet dangling and hands gripping the rail as the others jumped, climbed back up  and jumped again.  I stared down at the nubbly grass below.  I scooted my butt closer to the edge.  I scooted back to safety.  Writing this I am getting that knot in my tummy that I had that day.  Too scared to jump but wanting to so badly.

The cowbell rang.  Everyone leaped off the tower and ran to their respective homes for dinner.  I steeled myself.  Now or never.  I made the wrong decision and jumped, so scared I was stiff and kept my body in the same sitting position on the way down.  Landed hands first.  Ran to the house crying.  Ace bandages, aspirin.  I don’t remember anyone’s reaction to my folly, but I still remember that feeling in my gut as I sat up in that tower afraid to jump.

So what’s my point? I started this story to illustrate the importance of listening to your gut instincts, your intuition. And maybe the young me should have done so.  To this day I’m still really good at climbing up things, and not so good at getting down.  But if someone is around to let me hold their shoulder or tell me where to put my feet, up I go.  I don’t want to miss out on the view.  And look, I’m still in one piece!   Thanks for the help, guys!

(Carolle helped me down.)

Boo!

What will you be doing on October 31 --  Dressing up for trick-or-treating?  Bobbing for apples or drinking smoky punch from a cauldron?  If you want to be truly traditional, make sure there is a bonfire around; but please, keep the authenticity in check and don’t sacrifice any animals.  That’s what the Druids would do 2000 years ago as they celebrated their New Year’s Eve with sacred bonfires.  They also believed that the veil between heaven and earth, between the living and the dead, was at its thinnest on this night - thus all the ghosts ringing your doorbell.

We start spending more time in the dark now, and a bonfire would be welcome.  Christmas lights will soon follow the jack o’lantern candles, bringing comfort and a feeling of wellbeing to the peak of this dark period.  And of course, between times we will celebrate our good harvest with some turkey and turnips.  

I think someone knew what he was doing as the holidays of feasting and light were being scheduled. It’s no fun being stuck in the house in the dark, especially with the cost of lamp oil these days! 

So ignite the fire and bake a pumpkin pie and start untangling the strands of Christmas lights.  Keep the darkness at bay for as long as possible.  Soon enough the world will turn and the sun will increase its time with us.  And get your hands out of the Halloween candy.  That’s for the ghosts!

John & I Figured It Out!

Q:  What is the meaning of Life?

A:  Love

(Seems John Lennon was right, after all.)

I’m not talking about People Magazine kind of love, although that is included.  I’m talking about the Ten Commandments, Yamas and Niyamas kind of love. Love your neighbor.  Love yourself.  Take care of your body.  Take care of your neighbor.  Don’t take what is not yours; in fact, give freely what is yours.  Give thanks.  Look up.  Give thanks again.

Open your heart, follow your heart, trust in your heart.  Send thoughts of love to that which challenges you (in yoga, we use the word “challenging”  instead of “freakin’ hard”). The love will bounce right back to you, multiplied.  Pour love (passion, hard work) into your career and you will be rewarded.  Spread love in your community through service and maybe the word “challenging” will disappear from your vocabulary.

Love is a feeling.  Love is lighter than air and brighter than the sun.  It is contentment and excitement rolled into a heart-shaped package and tucked inside your ribcage.  It echoes and reverberates and spreads and ripples out into the world.  The more happiness and excitement - Love - you feel, the further those ripples travel.  The further they travel, the more people they touch.  The more people touched by your love, the more love will be created and moved into the world.  Love is the answer.

Truth or Dart?

Now that we have all been using our “Impeccable Words”, practicing Satya + Ahimsa (truthfulness and non-harming), and are expert at using our words to convey love and concern rather than hurt or dismay, it’s time to move on to another issue.  Gossip.  It is argued that gossip is healthy, that it is a natural form of communication and a way to move information around a community.  Perhaps; but I think that the term Gossip has accrued negative connotations, and that we “gossip” the bad stuff and “share” the good.  So share away!  Spread the success of your neighbor’s children, compliment your yoga teacher in front of the whole class, bring the joy of a new baby to your friends at Starbucks.  When a dubious thought bubbles to the surface, give it the test:  Is it true? Is it kind? Then - the real litmus test for gossip - is it necessary?  

Most importantly, remember the power of I'm sorry.  We all make slips of the tongue or get caught up in gossip, and the best way to get out of such a mess is to apologize.  Love means never neglecting to say I’m sorry. 

"I hear she practices some weird religion!"

Use Your Words (Wisely)

Don Miguel Ruiz* has written about five “agreements” that you might make with yourself in order to live your highest life.  The first is Be Impeccable With Your Word.  Ruiz suggests we speak with integrity, that words not be used to speak against oneself  or others, and that we use the power of our words in the direction of truth and love.  

Let’s concentrate on speaking the truth.  If the truth will be painful to someone or cause hurt feelings, couple honesty with kindness.  When I took my Reiki training, my teacher told us to ask ourselves these questions before we spoke:  Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?  Be careful not to hide behind “the truth” in order to deliberately hurt someone.  Announcing out loud that someone’s butt looks big may be true, but it is neither kind nor necessary.  

This doesn’t mean we need to sugar-coat everything we say. Using thoughtfulness and love, we can learn how to get a painful truth across to someone.  In yogic terms, I would say practice Satya, truthfulness, with a generous helping of Ahimsa, non-harming.  Here are my suggestions, and I hope you’ll comment with some of your own.

Notice when someone tells a truth so gently that the person hearing it is grateful for the words and not offended.  The speaker probably used body language, too, such as a smile or a gentle touch, to soften the words.  Emulate that skill.

Begin with a positive statement.  Gush for a moment, then say your piece.   “Your dinner parties are so entertaining, and the food is impeccable.  I feel uncomfortable, however, when you talk about “crazy Canadians”, since my mom is from Canada.”

And about someone’s butt looking big in her dress:  Unless she’s meeting the President for a televised event, who cares!  

*www.miguelruiz.com